Since last summer, this one decision has been dangling along and haunting me my whole freshman year. It is now more than half-way through the year, and I’m still undecided. This is such a big and risky decision, and I honestly do not know what I want anymore. Since 8th grade, I told me myself and planned out what sports/activities I specifically wanted to do once I become a freshman at Hazen. I was going to do JV Volleyball, Zero Period Orchestra, EHSL, Key Club, FBLA, and Track. Hazen, new school, new teachers, new sports, classes, sports, etc. It was all new, and it was a fresh start. After three quiet and miserable years at McKnight Middle School, i told myself that I would be more open to try new things, and be much more involved with my school. I don’t want to be one of those “asian” nerds who only care about grades—I want to be KNOWN. I want to make an impact on my school, and be a positive role model to others. So—with that idea stuck in my head, i decided to try out for JV Drill. And the funny thing was—i had no clue what I was trying out for/what to expect during tryouts. I came clueless and airheaded, as you may say. The good thing was, I stretched a couple weeks prior to tryouts, all i knew was that i had to be flexible (according to my friend). I tried out blah, blah, blah. AND BAM. I made the team. SAY WHAT?! That was one hell of a shocker to me, to be honest. So, initially, in my head, i thought.. YAY! Something that’ll make my transcript look a little better. But as months of practices passed (along with team bondings), i soon realized I have a strong passion for drill i never knew of. I enjoyed practicing and performing so much, and doing it wasn’t for the look of my transcript anymore. Sooooooo, why am i so upset? Well, tryouts for volleyball came soon after. Andddddddddd, the coach didn’t let me do it (even though i would’ve made the JV team). The reason behind it wasn’t clear to me at all—he says he wants fully committed girls on his team. To break it to you, Coach Orcutt, I am just as committed as those other girls that tried out as well. I am not one to slack off, ESPECIALLY during sports. I am one competitive little fucker, if you haven’t noticed during my tryouts. I worked my living ass off, and you’re going to tell me that?! Alright. Done. So volleyball was cut off because I was doing JV Drill.. cool. And not only volleyball, but EHSL as well. A tutoring program i was part of since 5th grade… COOL. Well, it was a rough few months for me but i got over it after realizing i can’t do anything about it anymore. This questions if i should continue doing drill, or doing sports? That thought continues to haunt me every damn day. At first, I was leaning towards NOT doing drill, because i thought i would be more convenient for me and my grades, but.. then, my coach called me one night. She asked me if i could fill a hole for a girl on VARSITY. Let me repeat that…. VARSITY. This was a HUGE deal.. because she’s asking for me to learn her moves and perform it at DISTRICTS, AND FRICKIN STATE. ARE YOU SERIOUS, KRISTIN?! I was mind-blowned for the fact she picked ME, out of everybody on JV. She must’ve had a lot of trust/faith in me to believe i could learn the varsity routine in two weeks and perform it flawlessly. This was an amazing opportunity for me. I would’ve been the first freshman EVER, to be on varsity at Hazen. That’s so crazy. But yeah, i stupidly denied her offer (BANGS HEAD) and decided not to. I regret that decision… a LOT. And urged me to become part of Hazen’s drill team next year. But, what would that mean? I would have to give up volleyball, track, ehsl, key club, and possibly zero period. I honestly didnt think i would continue drill, at the time of trying out for JV, i said my freshman year would consist of me doing JV Volleyball and drill, and track. But, that didn’t go out as planned. Seeing varsity drill perform and win so many titles tempted me to be part of that winning team. I can’t resist it! But.. what about the other things i planned on doing? Ah, and varsity tryouts are in 6 weeks. What to do..